The Drowning Machine

I came across this via the Haunted PS1 demo. Thank you so much for your profound and poignant exploration of grief. I can't remember a time when I was so taken back by a game in such a short moment. Thank you for being brave enough to carry on and complete this in Charlie's honor. May they rest in power.

Will you finish the game?

Allow me to start by saying I am so sorry for your loss, and I have no doubt that he feels nothing but pride in seeing you carry on his memory. He sounds like he was a vibrant individual who loved his friends and family with everything he had. This game was haunting and powerful. Having struggled with mental health for most of my life, it is sobering to see the pain that I nearly left behind on more than one occasion. Your voice acts as a reminder that no matter how dark the days get, there is always someone that will miss you when you leave, even when their words are drowned out by the ones in your own mind. You gave him a beautiful eulogy.

This game feels like you're sitting down in a room with nothing but your emotions and thoughts and lets you process that without being distracting or empty. It's been a long time since I had to hold back tears from interacting with any piece of media. You did an excellent job and I look forward to seeing what else you have in store. Keep creating, take good care of yourself, and may you find peace and healing.

This game, well it seems more of a personal experience rather, broke me! I have been here, the guilt, the pain, sadness, anger and any emotion that you can think of will pass through you. Charlie sounds like an amazing human, the way you make him out in Eulogy is beyond beautiful! I know your pain and while no ones pain is the same I can say I have felt and am still feeling what you are and for that I am sorry. He would be very proud of the end result, take your time with the full development, your mental health is more important friend! -A Friend

Hey I just played this on stream unknowing of what this project was and want to share this with as many people as possible. I'm not popular by any means but I also want to be as respectful as possible, not having the focus on me. That being said I'm so sorry for your loss and what you're doing is beautiful and I will be checking back for the final version, much love ❤ Also having your consent is important to me so just reply if you get the chance I would not be posting at all unless I knew its what you would want thank u

Can't seem to click on the Play or Back buttons! I get to read the Movement descriptions, not play them!!

Wow, you'd think having seen this in fiction a million times would mean I wouldn't have the reaction I had with this. Well no such luck. Knowing it's real is seemingly all it takes.

Just "Freefall" alone made me red-faced and dizzy with all blood going to my chest and face, head pounding, chest hurting with irregular breathing and watery eyes. Almost hurled. 

Some people will just say "great, another one of these pretentious artsy angsty nothing sandwich barely games". 

Some might even spew some totally original and still funny joke around the number 41. 

To the former: understand context better, that's not the point of these.

To the latter: new material when, you extremely valuable member of society?

It's no wonder people are still fearfully quiet about heavy themes while openly being casually but indirectly mocked by those who should be just and protect them and be actually impartial, not join in because it's considered "normal", or even set up rules and structures that exacerbate this, essentially making ostracizing compulsory. Well you fucking bullying hypocrites, your stubborn views not only net you a lifetime enemy, but has set up quite the trap for those who "don't belong", and what is narrated here is the result. Not sure why you think it's ok for OTHERS to pay for your arrogance and shortcomings.

See, by creating this little (figuratively, it's actually far from little) bubble of yours to shield you from all that makes you uncomfortable, under the guise of what is "right", you are creating a vacuum that resents you and actively excludes you. But with this you have deprived yourselves of the real world, so It's no wonder the moment you step foot outside the friction causes quite the shock. Again, not fair for those doing their best to fit in -even going as far as moderating or hiding their own self for your convenience or the sake of coexisting- to be the ones paying for your nonsense.

this game is pure art. i couldnt help but cry at the eulogy, its so sad because its so real. 

i feel your pain and this game makes my pain feel heard.

RIP my Angel & RIP Charlie Schulz

I game doesn't work

The abstract style of this game and the mixture of your own thoughts and the excerpts really communicates grief well. Your friend sounds like a cool guy. Brave of you to include what is presumably an actual recording of you delivering his Eulogy. 

My best friend died suddenly recently as well, not likely suicide but still a lot of unanswered questions. Talk about triggered lol but knew what I was getting into. Hope you find some peace mate.

I played this through the Haunted PS1 Demo Disc 2021.

Going in, I was expecting something like the other games: A fun, spooky little time that can get me hyped for the full version. What I got? 

Well...

....This is quite honestly, tied with Spec Ops: The Line as the most emotionally destroying videogame I've played. In fact, it might top it. Because with The Line, the characters, whilst realistic and thoroughly tragic, are still fiction. This is a true story based on the mental deterioration and loss of your friend.

I live in the UK, but I still know what depression is like. It's a disease. A disease that takes on many forms, and pushes us to the brink of death. I should know. I had it. 

From 2014 to 2020, I lived the worst years of my life as a teenager. I was going through puberty, and it turned out I was autistic. During this time, I gained a horrifying depression, where I became emotionally unstable and kept on lashing out at anyone and anyTHING. I don't know WHAT caused it. Maybe it was the class I was assigned in secondary school. Maybe it was the people I was surrounded by. But as a teen, I became the very thing I despised, and I didn't know how I could stop. No matter hard I tried, things kept on getting worse.

Finally, in 2020, an incident occurred. I don't want to say what happened, but what matters is that I finally realised that I was going through depression, and eventually, I got the help I needed. But I know many other people out there aren't as lucky as I was.

Perhaps because of this, I couldn't make it past Movement III. This was a project made to honour the life of a man who fought his own battle with depression and lost. A game that delivers a message about his life and depression itself. I don't know who Charlie Schulz was in life, but if he were to see you make this game, he'd be happy that you finished it for him.

There's nothing more I can add, other than:

Rest in Peace, Charlie Schulz.

Movement III: Freefall is now available for download

A heartfelt, personal experience that a lot of love went into. My condolences go out to you and yours, and thank you for crafting such a wonderful dedication to your friend. 

Movement IV: Wanderlust is now available for download